Monday, 19 March 2012

Settling debts through robbing the dead

'There was no real danger, well except for the dragon.' - Burke the man at arms

“I can explain the sword.” Burke would need to do some fast talking to keep his wife on side. She'd met him at the door to their hovel before he'd had a chance to hide Ugh's bastard sword.  “Milgos needed another hired blade so I said ‘why not?’ I’ve held the torch long enough and the struggle with the giant rats proves I have what it takes. Besides I wasn’t in any real danger, at least not this time. Let me explain.”

Burkes wife’s stare was softening; thinking he might get away with it, Burke recounted the expeditions events. “It wasn’t long before we found Urgat’s orcs. Fang smelt them out. Ugh and his dog are always snarling at the pig-faced bastards but the boss thinks the orcs are useful fodder. I see his point, they did help us kill the manticores. They didn’t take much convincing and we’d soon pushed them to the front. Milgos was insistent that we find the treasure some crazed gnome had talked about. He had some expenses in town he needed to settle. Being a wizard is expensive with all the pointy hats and costly quills and ink. Regis the gnome had babbled about a room full of the dead and piles of treasure. He hadn’t seen the room but he’d overheard the orcs talking about it. The word of a half mad gnome seemed good enough for Milgos and sure enough the gnome was telling the truth.”

Wights stand no chance against Janna the cleric.
“So we headed west and trounced some shadows and walking corpses. Our scrapes with the undead were trivial thanks to our priest Janna and I can assure you I was in no danger. At one stage Fang started shaking and whining at the sight of some odious artwork. He strained at his leash trying to retreat but Ugh held firm."

"It wasn’t long before Milgos found the secret treasure chamber. Inside there was this dead thing with hate filled eyes guarding three chests. It shrugged off the orc’s spears and snapped one of their necks. Then a terrifying thing happened, the dead orcs eyes started glowing and it rose from the dead. Things looked bleak till Jana’s god stepped in causing the abominations to cower and flee. Betty, Ugh and Janna finished the creatures with their enchanted weapons. The chests were trapped with gas and poison needles but we soon had them open. Milgos was so happy to see the piles of coins that he did a little celebratory dance, there must have been enough to pay off his debts.”

It seemed Burke’s wife was warming to his career as a low risk adventurer. “As you can see my love, no real danger. Well accept for the dragon." With that single word his carefully crafted tale came crashing down. "Now don’t give me that look. I don’t think the boss is mad enough to fight it. And if we do I’ll make sure there are plenty of orcs between me and it. Ablative meat-shields I believe they are called. Trust me I haven’t died yet.”

Level 2 of the Tunnels of Enlandin

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